I'm almost to my Quit Day.
I haven't mentioned it on this blog yet, but I'm a night person. I stay up late; I sleep late. I'll be waking up around 11:00 or noon on Wednesday, August 8th, and I won't be having a cigarette with my morning coffee.
That pack in the picture? I'm hoping it's my last. I'm going to destroy any remaining cigarettes before I go to sleep tonight. My sister Amy -- she of the brilliant parody below -- suggested that I run over it with my beloved Prius. I adore my car. It doesn't even have an ashtray or a cigarette lighter. We think the symbolism of letting my beloved Prius do the dirty work is awesome!
But darn it, I have to confess -- I'm scared. I've tried to quit before, and I'm such a weenie. Smoking is so automatic for me. The GetQuit program has had me analyzing my triggers, and I have to confess that one of the major triggers for me is boredom. That's not even an option on the GetQuit surveys! I watch TV, I smoke. I eat, I smoke. I surf the Internet, I smoke. I drive, I smoke. Of course I smoke with my first cup of coffee and after meals. But honestly, I just smoke all day long.
This is so stupid! That's something Amy (my brilliant sister) mentioned the other day, how stupid smoking is. Why do I smoke when I'm bored? Can't I think of anything better to do? Of course I can; I've made lists of things to do when I have a craving.
... But...
I'm scared.
Please let me get through Wednesday afternoon. Just the afternoon, that's all I want; I just want to make it to dinner before I fall apart.
I've laid in a stockpile of toothpaste. I have lists of things to do when I have a craving. I'm working on a nifty papercraft thing. I'll watch the hummingbirds. I'll work on wrestling the old faucet out of the sink so I can install the pretty new faucet.
Lots of things to do. I can do this. I can. I can. I can. I hope I can.
2 comments:
You can! You can! You can, you can, you can, and you WILL!!!!! This is important for so many reasons.
Number one -- look at your daughter and your son. Remember how lost we were without our mother. They will need you around for a long time, and cigarettes will take you away from them.
Number two -- look at your beautiful, pale skin. In just a few years, cigarettes will take that away from you, too. Want me to send you a closeup of my lips? I'm starting to get lines around them. I'm starting to get lines around my eyes. I'm four years older than you are, Bay. You're headed this way.
Number three -- look at ME!!!! I need you and love you and want to hang out on this earth with you as long as possible.
Number four -- look at Las Vegas! I'm going to save up the money for a pack a day until you have the money to fly here. That's about 90 days. Three months from now you could be driving to the store to buy cigarettes or you could be flying to Las Vegas to see me to do some Christmas shopping.
I have faith in you! This time is different! (I know, people say that every time they try to quit, but this time really IS different!)
1. Stay busy
2. Keep on course
3. Just make it through the next hour. Just one more hour.
4. Repeat
I love you!
I know you can!
I love the idea of letting your Prius destroy the last of your pack.
The Chantix is helping on the physical side of things, but the habit side of things will be all you, and it can be tough since we are creatures of habit, but habits can be changed. I substituted water and deep breaths where cigarettes used to be, and along with walking instead of a morning smoke break, before I knew it, my habits were changing.
It's great that you are prepared with a list, too. That will help!
And just reading your sister's comment above mine brought a tear to my eye, and I love her support. She's right, you know. And me? I'd pick Vegas.
You can do this!
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