Acceptance is the first step

I Am Iron Woman.

Today was really rough. If I had to grade Wednesday on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least stressful and 10 being the most stressful, then I would have to give today an 8.99. (I'm guessing that in order for it to be a 10, I would have to either kill someone or live through a loved one's death. Those are the only more-stressful things I can imagine. "Moving" would be a 9.8, of course. That's the scale I'm going with.)

(And I hope you understand what I'm talking about.)

Let's see. Today I had writer's block with a deadline, and my daughter and I had a huuuuuge fight and I stomped out of the house and drove around -- not getting out of the car, because I didn't even wear shoes when I stomped out of the house -- and I still didn't buy cigarettes or smoke. I cried. I ranted. I raved. But I didn't smoke.

I watched a movie that's really a little too emotional for someone in my condition to watch. ("Catch & Release," in case you're wondering, and it's not as bad as the reviews might have led me to believe; in fact, I rather liked it.)

I fixed dinner, although, honestly, I hate fixing dinner and desperately wish a miracle would happen to keep me from fixing dinner all the time. (It's been 20 years. I'm tired of fixing dinner. And I would feel badly about that, but all my friends tell me they feel the same way, which is why so many of them are buying those Bertolli frozen things. It's dinner without all the fixing.)

And then, to top off the whole fabulous day, I had a conference call. About stressful stuff. And I had a bad connection to that conference call about stressful things, and I got kicked out of it in the middle of the call, and I don't know why.

Then my favorite contestant got kicked off of "Top Chef."

I still haven't bought any cigarettes, nor have I smoked any, but OMG, I so want to smoke. I so want to.

Did I mention I have a tooth that hurts?

Shoot me now.

Can I sleep through Thursday? Please?

I made it another day. I didn't buy any cigarettes. I didn't drive off a mountain. I am going to make it through tonight and on to Thursday. I am.

Oh, and the Elvis-tribute Reese's cups are fabulous. Reese's cups with banana flavoring added in. I'm not kidding, those things are wonderful. I had absolutely no idea that Elvis was onto something with the disgusting-sounding fried-peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches. Add in Reese's and chocolate, and it's almost enough to make up for the total lack of tobacco in my life!