Obsequious

When, exactly, did the word "obsequious" become negative? It means "marked by a fawning attentiveness." As someone who really loves applause, attention, and anything remotely related to praise, I am trying to understand how "obsequious" could be a bad thing.

Sorry. I was just watching "Miss Congeniality" for a minute while I was flipping channels.

Chantix Day 32, Quit Day 12

To be honest, I think today was one of those slightly rougher days. I was fidgety and distracted all day long. I still engaged in a number of productive tasks to keep my hands busy, but at the end of each tiny job, I wanted to give myself a cigarette for a reward.

I didn't, though. I didn't smoke a cigarette; I didn't buy a pack. And sometimes, at the end of the day, just noting those two accomplishments is enough to make me feel like trying another non-cigaretted day.

A friend of mine -- a very dear friend of mine -- just went to Disney World last weekend with her daughter, and they had a wonderful trip during which, on ONE DAY, they ran around three parks (Disney-MGM Studios, Epcot, and the Magic Kingdom), went swimming in the best Disney resort pool (Stormalong Bay), and finished out their day with an evening at Pleasure Island.

Just six years ago, my dear friend and I would have done the same thing as if we were her daughter's age. In fact, we *did* do exactly that -- just seven years ago. (And five years ago, and three years ago...)

Last November when we were there together, the running about like teenagers was pretty severely limited by my total inability to run without wheezing.

So I was reading my friend's report of her day with her daughter, and practically crying with jealousy and hope for *our* next trip to Walt Disney World, and then I realized -- the next time I go to Disney World with Krisi, I'll be a non-smoker.

Maybe... maybe I won't wheeze as much. Maybe I'll be able to keep ahead of the crowds. Maybe I'll be able to dance all night without having to take smoke breaks!

I hope my friend quits smoking, too. That'll make life a lot easier if we're both non-smokers.

But see, that's part of the thing I wrote about early on in this blog. ALL my best friends smoke. My sister Amy smoked. Krisi smokes. My very dear friend Terri smokes. The people I love the mostest -- all smoke. Well, OK, Amy and I quit. But -- I can't help but hope that Krisi and Terri quit, too. I don't want to pressure them, but I am really gonna be hard pressed to stay quit if I'm hangin' out in the smoking areas with my friends.

Sniffle.

See? I said it was a rough day.

Sunday will be easier. I'm coming up on two weeks without a cigarette, and I have to say -- I am really very hopeful that this is the end for me and smoking. And my sister Amy (who has just sailed away on an Alaskan cruise today) has quit, too, which is a huge motivating factor for me. We quit together! We quit together! And together, we can beat our cravings for cigarettes!!!!

Deep sigh... wistful glance into the future....